Among other platitudes, wedding vows often contain the words “till death do us part.” Unfortunately, we all know that in many instances this is not the case, for these days divorce is as commonplace as a handshake. Still, most of us put our best efforts forth in maintaining a healthy and loving relationship with whomever we’ve chosen to shack up with.
The sad truth is that oftentimes external circumstances are the nails in the coffin to otherwise sustainable partnerings. Chief among these factors is one’s profession. The jobs with the highest divorce rates have been released, and they’re not at all the ones people suspect.
30. Crane operators, 45.2%: This job is not for those afraid of heights, and apparently it’s not for women either as 98% of crane operators are men. The high divorce rate likely has to do with the hefty amount of travel required.
29. Bill collectors, 45.3%: Spending your days confronting people about their debts can’t leave people in an especially cheery mood at the end of the day. This, combined with demanding quotas, make not a happy marriage for many couples.
HBO – The Sopranos
28. Phlebotomists, 45.4%: For the unaware, phlebotomists are people assigned to draw your blood when you donate or go to the doctor. This gig is not only stressful, but requires people to work odd hours including nights and weekends.
YouTube – MedScape
27. Security guards, 45.5%: In general, lower paying careers tend to correlate with higher divorce rates. Security guards are no different. And in addition to the meager compensation, these guys often have to work all hours of the night.
26. Supervisors of protective service workers, 45.6%: This job encompasses those working in security services, the gambling industry, and spectator sports. The potential to come in contact with dangerous or otherwise unsavory behavior can definitely put a strain on a marriage.
DEJ Productions – Shade
25. Entertainers/Performers/Athletes, 45.7%: It may seem easy to envy those who live their lives in the spotlight, entertaining people with their innate talents. However, these guys also seem to have a pretty high tendency towards failed relationships.
24. Bus drivers, 45.9%: Being a bus driver is just as hard as it sounds. From the propensity for crashes and injuries, to the day-to-day annoyances of dealing with aggressive passengers, this job can really take a toll on one’s marriage.
23. Millwrights, 46%: These guys are responsible for moving and dismantling machinery according to blueprints. Although they earn more than the average American, the likelihood of injury, illness, and sometimes even death may contribute to their high divorce rates.
The Apprentice School
22. Interviewers, 46%: The people who interview you for things such as getting into school actually have a pretty tough time of it themselves when it comes to marriage. High unemployment and relatively low pay can cause troubles at home.
20th Century Fox – The Devil Wears Prada
21. Court clerks, 46%: These people undertake clerical services for the government, and as such often have to come face to face with disgruntled citizens. This can be very anxiety-inducing and certainly has its way of making it into the bedroom.
Municipal Association of South Carolina
20. Small engine mechanics, 46.2%: People who work on small engines deal largely with things such as motorcycles and lawnmowers. Given that these devices are used mainly in spring and summer, money fluctuates a lot seasonally.
Dan Nielsen – Record Eagle
19. Personal care aides, 46.2%: These people who help the elderly and sick take care of their day-to-day needs expend so much emotional energy at work that they may not have as much in reserve when they finally get home.
Brian Peterson – Star Tribune
18. Ambulance drivers and attendants, 46.3%: Given the inherent urgency of anything ambulance related, people who drive these flashy vehicles must be on call 24/7. Transportation jobs in general tend to have higher rates of divorce.
Toyota of North Charlotte
17. Dispatchers, 46.6%: Dispatchers are often responsible for fielding calls from people in life or death situations and must handle it with grace and composure. It makes sense that they’d be likely to bring this stress home rather than leaving it at the office.
Emilie Raguso – Berkeley Side
16. Dancers/choreographers, 46.8%: Not only is this profession extremely competitive, but it’s also physically demanding and time consuming. This creates the perfect storm for a troubled relationship to brew.
Andrea Mohin – The New York Times
15. Supervisors of correctional officers, 46.9%: These brave individuals are in charge of overseeing COs who are daily immersed in dangerous, uncomfortable, and sometimes even violent situations. The level of stress this must induce is terrifying and likely doesn’t evaporate when the workday is done.
14. Licensed practical/vocational nurses, 47%: These nurses perform much of the same work as registered nurses — including long shifts and a need to be constantly alert — but get paid about $20,000 less. Again, stress at work often equals stress at home.
Westmead Children’s Hospital
13. Gaming cage workers, 47.3%: These guys work in casinos, which would be stressful enough considering the rowdy crowds who tend to frequent them, but to make matters worse, job growth is declining more and more each year.
12. Massage therapists, 47.8%: While receiving a massage is relaxing, being tasked with giving them is not always that way. These people often have to manage their own businesses, reach out to clients, and otherwise overextend themselves.
11. Telephone operators, 47.8%: This may come as a surprise, but yes, telephone operators still exist. However the number of job openings in this somewhat archaic field are drastically declining, perhaps leading to the alarming divorce rates we see here.
10. Pressing machine operators, 48.8%: These people wear many hats, having to not only operate but also set up and tend large machines that form things like glassware. The monotony and long hours can cause discontent in personal relationships.
YouTube – Merseta
9. Textile knitting machine operators, 48.9%: The people who perform this job (predominately women) may not be in such high spirits, for the textile industry has been consistently declining — meaning less chances for work and more opportunity for marital strife.
8. Telemarketers, 49.2%: You may hate getting calls from telemarketers, but try to take it easy on these guys ’cause they already have it hard enough. Dealing with angry and annoyed customers all day most definitely takes its toll in the household.
7. Extruding machine operators, 49.6%: And here’s another machine job that seems to be a curse when it comes to nuptials. New technology and foreign outsourcing means fewer and fewer employment opportunities for these unlucky guys.
YouTube – Merseta
6. Switchboard operators, 49.7%: The people who are responsible for making sure call transfers go smoothly may be prone to divorce given their below average income, and the fact that their field is in rapid decline.
Airman 1st Class Larissa Greatwood – U.S. Air Force
5. Rolling machine operators, 50.1%: Coming in at number five is the first profession to make it past the fifty percent marker. Uh-oh. The key to a long-lasting union is to stay far, far away from any rolling machines, and definitely don’t operate them.
4. Gaming services workers, 50.3%: Another career that requires working long hours, nights, and weekends inside casinos is unsurprisingly near the top of the list. While it may sound fun, this type of job is actually incredibly draining.
Asia Gaming Brief
3. Flight attendants, 50.5%: Flying all over the world and getting to visit exotic places sounds like a dream to many, but it also requires many days away from one’s spouse, which is not exactly a harbinger of romantic bliss.
Britney Spears – Toxic
2. Bartenders, 50.5%: Everyone loves a good bartender. They’re talkative, often attractive, and they give you the happy juice you need to survive. However, late nights filled with heavy drinking can spell out problems for long-term couplings.
1. Gaming managers, 52.9%: Although this is the highest paying gig on the list by a long-shot, it’s also the one that gives you the best shot at divorce. Again, being surrounded by drinking, debauchery, and gambling can cause distress within a spousal relationship.
Universal Pictures – Casino
Divorce is messy, painful, and sad. Buuuuut, if you’re a celebrity it could also end up being extremely fortuitous. When stars split up, the settlement money can be insane, and these famous ex-couples certainly take the cake.
1. Demi Moore and Bruce Willis: With Bruce saying “he had failed as a father and husband,” Demi ended their 11-year marriage with three children, some fond memories, and a $90 million settlement — not to mention a hunky younger boyfriend.
2. Jeff Bezos and MacKenzie Bezos: MacKenzie is walking away from her divorce with about $35 million in Amazon shares, making her the third-richest woman in the world. But she worked hard to earn that; in Amazon’s early days, she handled all the books and negotiated several contracts.
3. Mel Gibson and Robyn Moore: Mel’s 2006 fall from grace included a DUI arrest and an anti-Semitic rant. Robyn was having none of that and quickly divorced him, raking in $425 million because they never signed a prenup.
4. Tiger Woods and Elin Nordegren: Tiger and Elin split in 2010 after reports came out about his affairs with several other women. Elin got hers though; she walked away from the marriage with a $750 million settlement. Fore!
5. Rupert Murdoch and Anna Maria Torv: In one of the largest divorce settlements ever, Anna was awarded $1.2 billion after the couple ended their 32-year marriage. Breaking up is never easy, but a cool billion probably helps.
6. Michael and Diandra Douglas: After nearly 20 years of marriage, the couple split and Diandra won half of Michael’s fortune: $45 million! The divorce was contentious, and the couple is still duking it out decades later.
7. Steven Spielberg and Amy Irving: The couple parted ways after just three years, but Amy walked away with $100 million when the judge ruled their prenup invalid. The problem? They had written it on a cocktail napkin.
8. Michael Strahan and Jean Muggli: The pair formed an unlikely relationship when Jean was working as a salon manager, but their explosive relationship finally fell apart in 2006. After loaded accusations were lobbed at each other, Jean left with $15 million.
9. Madonna and Guy Ritchie: This match, seemingly made in heaven, ended after seven years when Guy was looking for a little less drama. They never signed a prenup, though, so he ended up nabbing $92 million on the way out.
10. Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt: In 2016, Child Services were called to intervene in an “incident” on a private plane, and Angelina filed for divorce soon after. The circumstances are still blurry, but she’s seeking full custody of their kids and a reported $400 million.
11. Johnny Depp and Amber Heard: Amber levied several accusations of abuse against the Pirates of the Caribbean star, eventually taking out a restraining order. When she filed for divorce, she received a settlement of $6.8 million but donated all of it to charity.
12. Paul McCartney and Heather Mills: What started as an extravagant wedding ended as an extravagant divorce six years later. The couple dished out $3.2 million on their star-studded nuptials, but that looks paltry compared to the $48.6 million settlement Paul paid out for their divorce.
13. Arnold Schwarzenegger and Maria Shriver: Remember when the Terminator was the Governor of California? Just months after his term, Maria filed for divorce when his extramarital affairs came to light, winning $375 million in the settlement. Looks like this time he won’t be back!
14. Alec Baldwin and Kim Basinger: This power couple’s split was hard on their young daughter who became embroiled in a 4-year vicious custody battle. They eventually settled for $3 million and are now on better terms.
15. Reba McEntire and Narvel Blackstock: Narvel helped Reba build her entertainment empire, and the two ended their decades-long marriage on pretty amicable terms. They never signed a prenup, so Narvel was awarded $47.5 million when it was all over.
16. Michael Jordan and Juanita Vanoy: The basketball titan was known for his plays on the court, but he couldn’t make his marriage work off the court. Michael and Juanita split in 2006, and she scored $168 million, a mansion, and custody of their three kids. Slam dunk, Juanita!
17. Michelle Branch and Teddy Landau: After eleven years, Michelle said “Goodbye to You” to her husband (and bassist) Teddy. Turns out all she wanted was the rights to her music and let him walk away with $300,000. Are you happy now, Teddy?
18. James Cameron and Linda Hamilton: Her heart will go on, but not with James. Much like the Titanic, their marriage was doomed and sank in 1999 after the release of the film. Linda fared much better than the titular ship and settled for $50 million.
19. Heidi Klum and Seal: Their divorce process was elongated due to complications with their prenup and postnup, but Heidi eventually dropped $70 million on a clean break and told Seal, “you’re out.”
20. Jennifer Lopez and Cris Judd: They were married for less than a year before filing for divorce when Cris had trouble adjusting to his newfound fame. They hid the details of their split, but reports are that J.Lo parted with $14 million in the settlement.
21. Neil Diamond and Marcia Murphy: World-famous musician Neil Diamond was married to television producer Marcia Murphy for 25 years before their divorce in 1996. Infidelity on Diamond’s part was the rumored cause, and he gave Murphy $150 million.
22. Garth Brooks and Sandy Mahl: Grammy Award-winning country music artist Garth Brooks and his ex-wife were high school sweethearts who tied the knot in 1986. The couple had three children together, and they divorced after 15 years of marriage. Brooks provided Mahl with $125 million after the divorce was final.
23. Harrison Ford and Melissa Mathison: In 1983, Star Wars actor Harrison Ford married E.T. screenwriter Melissa Mathison. The couple called it quits in 2004, however, and Ford gave Mathison $85 million.
24. Kevin Costner and Cindy Silva: Both Kevin Costner and Cindy Silva met at California State University, and in 1978, they got married. Sadly, Costner’s rising fame was too much to handle, and the two divorced in 1994. Silva received $80 million.
25. Kelsey and Camille Grammer: Frasier star Kelsey Grammer and his wife, Camille, star of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, split in 2011 after 13 years of marriage. Some people thought Camille was simply after her husband’s money, but she still received $60 million in the divorce settlement.
26. Ted Danson and Casey Coates: In 1977, actor Ted Danson and producer Casey Coates tied the knot. Coates had a stroke during the delivery of their first daughter, and Danson stayed by her side the entire time. However, the couple split in 1993 when Danson had an affair with actress and comedian Whoopi Goldberg. In the divorce settlement, Coates was awarded $30 million.
27. Lionel and Diane Richie: Singer Lionel Richie and his ex-wife, Diane, were married for seven years, but they called it quits in 2004. Diane received $20 million in the settlement, but her alimony petition requested even more: $15,000 per month for clothing allowance, $50,000 for personal upkeep, and a $20,000 plastic surgery budget.
28. Kenny and Marianne Rogers: Singer Kenny Rogers has been married five different times, but his most expensive divorce came at the hands of his fourth wife, Marianne. The divorce was relatively amicable, and she received a cool $30 million.
29. Mick Jagger and Jerry Hall: Rolling Stones frontman Mick Jagger and his ex-wife Jerry Hall were married for nine years, from 1990 to 1999. Jagger was accused of repeated adultery, and when the couple split, Hall received between $15 million and $25 million.
30. Phil Collins and Orianne Cevey: Orianne Cevey was Grammy Award-winning musician Phil Collins’s third wife, and they were married from 1999 until 2008; the split was apparently caused by Cevey’s undiagnosed postnatal depression. She received over $32 million, but the two ended up remarrying in 2016.
31. Phil Collins and Jill Tavelman: Phil Collins sure knows how to spend money on divorces! Jill Tavelman was his second wife, and they were married from 1984 to 1996. Tavelman received an estimated $22 million in the divorce settlement.
32. Johnny Carson and Joanna Holland: Long-time Tonight Show host Johnny Carson married Joanna Holland on the morning of the show’s tenth-anniversary party. The couple was married until 1985. Carson gave Holland $20 million in cash and property.
33. Minnie Driver and Matt Damon: After a year of dating following the success of their film Good Will Hunting, Damon revealed on Oprah that he and Driver had split up. The problem, though, was that Driver didn’t know until then!
Miramax / YouTube
34. Katy Perry and Russell Brand: The pop star and comedian were married for just 14 months before they called it quits in 2012. “He’s a very smart man, and I was in love with him when I married him,” Perry recalled in an interview. “Let’s just say I haven’t heard from him since he texted me saying he was divorcing me December 31, 2011.” Yikes.
35. Jennifer Flavin and Sylvester Stallone: Stallone used a handwritten letter to break up with his model girlfriend of five years in 1994. In a fortunate twist of fate, however, they reconnected and got married in 1997!
36. Richie Sambora and Heather Locklear: “It’s completely untrue,” the Bon Jovi guitarist said in response to a report that his actress wife had filed for divorce. Unfortunately for him, it was true—and she told him after she told her publicist!
Alan Light / Wikimedia Commons
37. Porsha Williams and Kordell Stewart: “I literally was lying in bed and I looked at Twitter and it was going crazy,” said the Real Housewives of Atlanta star in an interview regarding her NFL-star ex-husband. “I saw on Twitter that my husband has filed for divorce.”
38. Daniel Day-Lewis and Isabelle Adjani: Contrary to rumors, the actor didn’t break up with his actress girlfriend via fax, but it was pretty awful. “My love for him did not waiver,” Adjani said in an interview, “but I guess he did not feel the same. We never saw each other again. He never told me it was over. I wish he had because I like clarity.”
39. Sean Penn and Charlize Theron: Theron reportedly broke up with Penn by “ghosting” him, or refusing to respond to any of his calls or texts until he took the hint. Penn never commented on the matter, but Theron said the reports were exaggerated.
40. Taylor Swift and Joe Jonas: “I’m not even going to remember the boy who broke up with me over the phone in 25 seconds when I was 18… I looked at the call log—it was like 27 seconds,” Swift said on Ellen. Jonas sang a different tune, however: “I did not end the conversation. Someone else did. Phone calls can only last as long as the person on the other end of the line is willing to talk.”
41. Taylor Swift and Calvin Harris: The pop star also dated the Scottish deejay for over a year before their 2016 breakup. Things soured shortly after Swift co-wrote Harris’ hit “This Is What You Came For,” and Harris felt that she had insulted his own musical prowess.
Lorena Cupcake / Flickr
42. Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries: The reality television star was only married to the NBA player for a total of 72 days before she filed for divorce… which he finally learned about from none other than TMZ.
43. Adam Levine and Nina Agdal: As the story goes, the Maroon 5 frontman broke up with Behati Prinsloo, a Victoria’s Secret Angel, to be with Nina Agdal, another Victoria’s Secret Angel. Then he broke up with Agdal and married Prinsloo!
44. Big Sean and Naya Rivera: The Glee star dumped the rapper online after suspecting that he was cheating on her with Ariana Grande, whom he dated shortly after. “We’d been fighting for five straight days while he was traveling.” she said “The one day that he was back in LA, he said he didn’t want to see me.”
Fuse / YouTube
45. Johnny Depp and Amber Heard: The actress filed for divorce from Depp in May 2016 following domestic violence allegations. She later filed for a restraining order from him, and received a $7 million divorce settlement.
Entertainment Tonight / YouTube
46. Chris Brown and Karrueche Tran: The model broke up with Brown in 2015 after years of dating on-and-off, as she discovered that he fathered a child with another woman. Worse yet, she claimed that he was possessive and violent towards her. Although Brown denies those allegations, he does have a history of that sort of thing.
Disney / ABC Television Group
47. Hulk and Linda Hogan: The pro wrestler’s wife divorced him after discovering that he cheated on her with Christiane Plante, a close friend of their daughter, Brooke. Linda received a huge settlement out of it, then had a fling with a 19-year-old.
48. Audrina Patridge and Corey Bohan: The former The Hills star filed for divorce after just 10 months after claiming that Bohan was violent and extremely jealous. “His aggressive behavior usually escalates whenever I am paying attention to work obligations, rather than to him,” she said in court documents.
49. Ciara and Future: Ciara canceled their engagement in 2014, just three months after the birth of their son, reportedly due to Future’s infidelity. A harsh custody battle followed that didn’t end until January 2017 and resulted in joint custody.
50. Stephen Belafonte and Mel B: The former Spice Girl filed for divorce after nearly 10 years of marriage to the film producer, accusing him of physical abuse and sexual exploitation. Plus, he allegedly impregnated their nanny and forced Mel B to pay for an abortion. Belafonte denied the allegations, and sued his ex-wife for defamation of character.
51. Tarek and Christina El Moussa: Though he claimed he only brought a firearm for protection during a hike, authorities showed up at El Moussa’s house following reports of a “possibly suicidal male with a gun.” This was apparently the final straw after years of strife for the former Flip Or Flop stars.
Theheadof1977 / Wikimedia Commons
52. Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt: Jolie filed for divorce in September 2016, after two years of marriage to Pitt, accusing him of infidelity and even child abuse. Pitt was cleared by the FBI and Child Protective Services, but the damage was done.